Posts tagged personal responsibility

10 Important Life Lessons I’ve Learned in the Last 5 Months

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Just two weeks after my “wake-up call” I took the above photo,
showcasing the highest score I ever got bowling, beating my husband for the first time!

I recently received an email from an UpGusto subscriber who lost his girlfriend who he intended to marry, and his job, all in one fell swoop. He was in despair about his life and in deep depression. I emailed him back, and I decided to share with you all what I wrote to him (plus a couple extra points) because my response is applicable to everyone’s life at one point or another, maybe even right this moment for some of you. I hope you can gain some insight to apply to your life today and on an ongoing basis to improve your own well being for the long term.

I’m sorry you have been going through such a difficult time. It is hard to understand why things may be happening as they are, but I truly believe everything happens for a reason. You never know what God has planned for you. It is always better than what we imagine for ourselves, and we tend to try to thwart God’s plans with our plans. That is what happened to me back in late June. I was living my life my way, and everything seemed to be going along just fine, when WHAM! Wake-up call. An extremely unfortunate event had taken place and when I came to realize what was going on it was like a huge slap in the face. A huge slap in my life! But 5 months later and I am actually already grateful for what has happened because I think it actually saved my life.

I was going down the wrong path. I kept doing the same things expecting different results, which is basically insanity. My life seemed fine, but since my wake-up call, I have realized so much of what I was doing was for the wrong reasons and a lot of what I was doing was completely unnecessary and it wasn’t resulting in a better life as I had been hoping for all along. I was stressing myself out to the max. I immediately simplified my life so I could survive the turmoil I was going through at the moment. And as soon as I did that, my life immediately became that much more manageable… basically easier to deal with on a daily basis. It’s funny how when you’re overly responsible, you tend to take on more responsibility than is actually necessary.

I tend to take care of others instead of myself, but since my wake-up call, I have been learning to take care of myself, and that has been an amazing thing. I am learning who I am and what I really want out of life, and I’m not displeasing God in the process like I thought I would be if I lived life this way. I thought taking care of myself was selfish, but really it’s self-care. There is a difference between selfishness, selflessness, and self-care, and I have realized that now. At the moment, my goal is self-care, and once I feel like my life is finally on track, I can work on being more selfless, but self-care is never selfish. When you take care of yourself, you are taking the burden off someone else to care for you. When you take care of your self, you are taking responsibility for your life, and you can learn to allow others to take responsibility for themselves too, and that is very freeing.

I don’t know why your relationship ended, what caused it, or what the current end of that relationship will bring you in the future (or in your present). I don’t know why you lost your job, or what God has in store for you instead. I do know that when these sorts of things happen to us that we need to wake up and take a look at ourselves and how we are living our lives. Take a look at our priorities, our actions, and what our past actions and behaviors have gotten us thus far, and what changes we can make in ourselves to get us to where we actually want to go, rather than doing the same things forever, expecting that one day things will finally get better (it won’t if we keep doing the same things).

I realized many things in these last 5 months:

  1. I am responsible for myself and only myself (and if you have children then you are also responsible for taking care of them to the best of your ability).
  2. Others are responsible for themselves, I am not responsible for them. I can’t control others or improve other people’s lives. They have to do that themselves. If I have insight, I can give them insight, but it is up to them to take the appropriate actions to take care of themselves.
  3. I can be myself and I can allow others to be themselves. We are all humans, with flaws and talents, both good and bad qualities. We are all equal, and we are all equally and fully loved by God. All people are capable of doing bad things, and all people can be blessings to others as well.
  4. I don’t have to do everything. I don’t have to do anything extra or unnecessary, and I need to have my priorities straight. I don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations, or even my own expectations I have placed on myself, and the imaginary expectations I think God has of me. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do because doing things I don’t want to do would be doing things with the wrong heart and motives. That is not to say that I shouldn’t do what I am responsible for, but if it involves something I am not responsible for, then I should not do it unless my heart is in the right place.
  5. Money is not the most important thing in life. God will take care of our needs. God does want to bless us and He wants us to be happy. But money does not make us happy, and working our lives away just to have more material objects, or to look cool or have a higher social standing is not going to make us happy.
  6. When others are disappointed with me, it is not necessarily my fault. We all grow up gaining different world-views and defenses. We don’t need to take everything personally. Everyone has issues. We ourselves have issues, and it is our responsibility to work on our own personal issues to try to resolve our flawed world-views and useless defenses that we’ve put up to protect ourselves as children, but are actually harmful to us now as adults.
  7. I have learned that my relationship with God is the most important thing, and if I am in close connection to God, everything else actually falls right into place.
  8. Whether or not you believe in God, you can’t go through life alone and you can’t do what you need to do solely through your own power and might. Gaining some form of higher power (HP) who is more powerful than you and can help you do what you cannot do for yourself, is what makes your life manageable and what will eventually bring you serenity.
  9. You don’t have to be a religious person to have or find a higher power. Most of life’s problems are actually spiritual at the root. Spirituality and a connection with God (or higher power) does not necessarily have to be religious. In fact, it’s better if it’s not.
  10. Only a higher power has the power to restore you to sanity. What you give to your higher power (or God) is what your HP will take and deal with for you. But your HP will only take what you surrender, so the key to serenity and sanity is to fully surrender your will and your problems to the God of your understanding.

 
There is hope. In this world, there will be suffering, but that does not mean that all is lost, even if it seems like it now. Try your best at this time to see a broader perspective, that something is happening in your life that needs to happen right now, and it is bigger than you or I. And it can be a huge blessing if you take it by the horns and make the changes in yourself for the better, to bring you a better future. Slowly but surely, we can make the improvements in ourselves, internally, to give us the peace and serenity that we really long for.

What are you struggling with right now that makes you see no hope? Has this message helped give you the perspective you need to move on and make the necessary changes in your life to turn things around for the better? Please leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts! Also, let me know if you have any questions or would like any feedback.

How Personal Responsibility Empowers You to Reach Your Goals #PODCAST

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Today I’m revisiting a post from a few months ago because I finally made a podcast out of it so you can listen while you work (or just sit and listen to absorb some good vibes and smart talk).

Listen now to find out how taking personal responsibility increases your self reliance and resourcefulness, and empowers you to actually finally accomplish your goals and turn your dreams to reality.

If you keep blaming your circumstances or your past or other people on your current situation, you’re never going to get what you want out of life. If you take responsibility, then that empowers you to make changes that are necessary to get you to move forward toward your goals.

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Thanks for listening. I always love to hear what you have to say. Here’s my thought question for you today:

What are you relying on in life to stay comfortable instead of using your own personal strength and skills to get ahead? What changes are you going to make to empower yourself to reach your goals?

Do you agree that if you take responsibility for your life that you are that much more likely to succeed?

Let me know what you think! Leave a comment below!

Your comments don’t fall on blind eyes. I read each and every one! Thanks for contributing to the discussion :)

Podcast Transcript:

Hey everybody, it’s Lisha Yost, Founder of UpGusto Personal Development, and today I wanted to talk to you about personal responsibility.

There was a man named Peter. And he grew up in a poor family. So he knew he had to work really hard to get ahead. So he got really good grades in school. And he even studied other trades and businesses. And eventually he came to run a successful catering business. What he ended up doing was trying to put a lot of his profits back into his business, in advertising and marketing, and into expanding his business and hiring more employees, and giving them top notch benefits and big bonuses every year.

And although he put a lot of his profits back into his business, he still earned a large sum every year, so obviously he taxes were high. A portion of Peter’s income that he slaved away to generate over years of hard work went to the government to use as they see fit. And of course, some of that goes to welfare.

Welfare was created during the great depression in 1935 when the US unemployment rate was at 20% still. This began the dependence on government aid, and that is really what it has become.

George Bernard Shaw, who is a playwright and cofounder of the London School of Economics says that “A government that robs Peter to pay Paul, can expect the support of Paul. So Paul is definitely going to support the government that robs Peter to pay him.

I’m not saying that people shouldn’t give their fair share. If you have more, then you have more to give. But what I am saying is that the government not only is helping family in their time of need, but they also enable families to continue to be in a lifelong time of need.

So these families that are on welfare know that they will always have the government to lean on in their times of need. If they can’t get ahead, it’s okay because they don’t really need to. And so they don’t get ahead. It’s not because they don’t really want to. It’s because it’s really hard. It takes a lot of time, it takes a lot of effort, it takes hard work. It takes patience and sacrifice. And it’s not easy, so most people think that they can’t do it, and not only that, but most people know they don’t have to. So living in poverty has become the status quo for them. It’s become comfortable. And it seems weird and ironic that struggling financially can become comfortable, but that’s what it is. It’s like the woman who stays in the abusive relationship. It’s familiar. It’s harmful, but it’s familiar.

So what harmful things do you keep doing, just because it’s familiar?

People like to complain about their lives and they don’t want to take responsibility, but everyone has the same hope for succeeding whether it be financially, relationally, physically, or spiritually. It’s just that successful people take different steps, and they take different actions, and they make different choices.

What do you want to become successful in? What does success mean to you? Are you going to do what it takes to get there. Are you going to work hard. Are you going to buckle down and get the hard work done? Are you willing to make sacrifices in order to live a better more fulfilling life? Then stop living the status quo, start believing in yourself and start doing what it takes to get to where you want in life.

Do you want to want to lose 20 lbs? Do you want to have a thriving marriage full of passion? Do you want to become a millionaire? Or maybe you want to start a non-profit that helps those that are less fortunate.

What do you want to do with your life?

If you keep blaming your circumstances or your past or other people on your current situation, you’re never going to get what you want out of life. If you take responsibility, then that empowers you to make changes that are necessary to get you to move forward toward your goals.

We’re not in control of everything. But anything that you have control over, then it’s time to take control of it. Start taking personal responsibility for where you are in life right now. And start making the necessary changes to get what you want out of life.

What habits can you change right now, even just a little bit, to get you closer to your goals?

Do it, starting today.

Now I want to hear from you. In a comment below, please answer this question: What are you relying on in life to stay comfortable instead of using your own personal strength and skills to get ahead? What changes are you going to make to empower yourself to reach your goals?

Taking Personal Responsibility Empowers You to Accomplish Your Goals

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Today I want to talk to you about personal responsibility.

There was a man named Peter. He grew up in a poor family, so he knew he had to work hard and be smart in order to get out of the struggle and not repeat his parents’ fate. He got good grades in school and even studied other trades and business.

Eventually he came to run a successful catering business. He tried to put a lot of his profits back into the business in marketing and advertising, and expanding his business, hiring more employees, giving his employees top-notch benefits and bonuses each year.

But with all the hard work he put into his business, he still earned a large sum every year, so obviously his taxes were high. A portion of Peter’s income that he slaved away to create, was given to the government to use as they see fit. Some of which went to people on welfare.

Welfare in the US was created during the Great Depression in 1935 when 20% of the US population was still unemployed.

And so began the dependence on government aid. And that’s exactly what it’s become.

I say all of this coming from a family of poverty on welfare. So before you start swinging your hammer at me, know that I understand.

George Bernard Shaw, an Irish playwright and co-founder of the London School of Economics said that “A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.”

Ever hear that quote?

I’m not saying that people shouldn’t give their fair share. If you have more, then you have more to give.

What I am saying is that government aid not only helps struggling families in their times of need, it also enables a struggling family to continue to be in a lifelong time of need. They know deep down that they will always have the government to lean on if they can’t get ahead, so then they don’t get ahead. Not because they really don’t want to, but because getting ahead really does take a lot of hard work and time. It takes a lot of patience and sacrifice. It’s not easy, so most people think they can’t do it, and not only that, most people know they don’t have to.

So since it’s really hard to do, people think they can’t or won’t be able to, and because they really don’t have to because there is always the government to rely on, they just won’t do it.

Living in poverty has become the status quo for them. They are used to it. It actually becomes comfortable. It seems ironic that living through a constant financial struggle can become comfortable, but it does. Just like the woman who stays in the abusive relationship. It’s familiar.

It’s harmful, but it’s familiar.

What harmful things do you keep doing simply because it’s familiar?

People like to complain about their lives, but then don’t take responsibility. Everyone really has the same hope at succeeding in life, whether that be financially, relationally, physically, or spiritually. But successful people make different choices and take different actions, even in the little things.

What do you want to become successful in? What does success mean to you? Are you going to do what it takes to get there? Are you going to buckle down and get the hard work done? Are you willing to make sacrifices in order to live a better more fulfilling life?

Then stop living the status quo. Start believing in yourself, and start completing the steps it takes to get where you want to be in life.

Do you want to lose 20 pounds? Do you want to have a thriving marriage full of passion? Do you want to be a millionaire? Do you want to start a non-profit organization to help those less fortunate?

What do you want to do with your life?

If you keep blaming your circumstances, your past, your finances, and other people in your life on your current situation, you will never get what you really want out of life.

Once you accept responsibility, that empowers you to take action and begin to make awesome changes in your life. Click to Tweet This!

We are not in control of everything, but everything you have control over, it’s time to take control of it.

Start taking personal responsibility for where you are in life right now, and make the changes necessary to get what you want out of life. What habits can you change right now, even just a little bit, to get closer to your goals?

Do it, starting today.

Now I want to hear from you. In a comment below, please answer this question: What is one habit that you are going to try to change, stop, or create, in order to move forward toward a goal you have?

I’m excited to see your response and what you’re planning on working on. I’d like to help you get there and keep you accountable to your own desires. So write your comment below!